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It's time again for the annual
'Stella Awards'! |
For those unfamiliar with these
awards, they are named after 81
year-old
Stella Liebeck who spilled
hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the
McDonald's in New Mexico
where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she
took the lid off the
coffee and put it between her knees while she was
driving. Who would ever
think one could get burned doing that, right?
That's right; these are awards for the most
outlandish lawsuits and verdicts
in the U.S. You know, the
kinds of cases that make you scratch your head.
So keep your head
scratcher handy. |
Here are the Stella's for the
past year:
7TH PLACE :
Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded
$80,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her
ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store.
The store owners were understandably surprised by
the verdict, considering
the running toddler was her own son.
6TH PLACE :
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won
$74,000 plus medical
expenses when his neighbor
ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
apparently didn't notice
there was someone at the wheel of the car when he
was trying to steal his
neighbor's hubcaps.
Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.
5TH PLACE :
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , was
leaving a house he had just
burglarized by way of the
garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic
garage door opener
malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door
to
open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter
the house because the door connecting the
garage to the house locked
when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for
eight, count 'em, EIGHT,
days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog
food, he sued the
homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental
anguish. Amazingly, the
jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson
$500,000 for his anguish.
We should all have this kind of anguish.
Keep scratching. There are more...
4TH PLACE :
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered
4th Place in the Stella 's
when he was awarded
$14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on
the
butt by his next door neighbor's
beagle - even though the beagle was on a
chain in its owner's
fenced yard.
Williams did not get as
much as he asked for because the jury believed the
beagle might have been
provoked at the time of the butt bite because
Williams had climbed over
the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the
dog with a pellet gun.
Grrrrr ... Scratch, scratch.
3RD PLAC E:
Third place goes to Amber Carson of Lancaster ,
Pennsylvania,
because a jury
ordered a Philadelphia
restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on
a
spilled soft drink and broke her
tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on
the floor: Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument. What ever happened to people
being responsible for their
own actions?
Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are
only two more Stellas to go...
2ND PLACE :
Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware,
sued the owner of a night club in a
nearby city because she
fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking
out her two front teeth.
Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through
the ladies room window to
avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said
the night club had to pay
her $12,000 ...oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go
figure.
1ST PLACE : ...May I have a fanfare played on 50
kazoos please
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner
was Mrs. Merv Grazinski,
of Oklahoma City ,
Oklahoma , who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago
motor
home. On her first trip
home from an OU football game, having driven onto
the freeway, she set the
cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver's seat to go to the
back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.
Not surprisingly, the
motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Also not surprisingly,
Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the
owner's manual that she
couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the
cruise control was set.
The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down,
$1,750,000 PLUS a new
motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals
as a result of this suit,
just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who
might also buy a motor
home. |
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